0 Did You Ever Know You Were My Hero?

I was shopping today and noticed the Father’s Day cards … unfortunately I lost my father many years ago, but it made me realize how thankful I am for the men in my life.

When both my daughter and I were diagnosed with cancer, our hubby’s stood by our sides. We know how lucky we are and even though we don’t always show it, we appreciate them so much.

The main difference between a man and a woman is that men like to fix things….women need to vent first and then they will fix things themselves. So when dealing with the cancer demon that their spouse has just been dealt, men need to put their gut need to fix things aside and learn to be a compassionate listener and supporter. That is not always easy and we will change our mind of what we want or need in a nano-second! We know this ~ however we hardly ever admit it.

After someone hears the dreaded words “you have cancer” it is really hard to absorb much else; at least in the beginning. Hearing those words is a huge emotional blow which makes it hard to keep up day to day. My suggestion is to be there for her; be the second set of ears at doctor appointments. Do something nice for her ~ run a load or two of laundry ~ vacuum the floors ~ make dinner or bring dinner home one night ~ all without being asked.

Know that you are wonderful. Know that your wife knows that and appreciates you, but right now she is scared and confused and needs to vent. We always use those we love the most to vent at because we know they will listen, comfort us and love us without taking the anger too personally. Every woman is different and each one moves at her own pace so let your wife lead you to what she needs at this time.

Know that the anger is not directed at you but she needs to give it to you so you can help her deal with it. That just mean she trusts you more than anyone else in her life to help her. So keep up the good work in not venting back at her. I suggest you take time to read the book "The Breast Cancer Husband" by Marc Silver. It is available at Amazon.

And know that you are our heroes – our unsung heroes ~ and we love you, Jan